Return On Investment

How many ways do we stay in situations whether it be with people or objects or circumstances because we feel we have invested a certain amount and feel like we need a return on that investment before we walk away?

 The analogy of going to the movies comes to mind. We pay for a ticket and we sit in a movie theatre for the duration of the film. Even though as the movie begins and we are halfway through we have decided it is not for us for whatever reason, we act as though because we have paid for the film, we should stay the course and see it through till the end. But is that true?

 I know that there may be some clued up souls who don’t think twice about leaving in the middle of the film and cutting their losses, I have never really been one of those people. I have been a stick it out till the end, it may change, I may grow to like it, it could get better not to mention the fact that am I not just wasting money if I am not even going to see the whole film? But really what of the time I am wasting whilst I am sitting there not enjoying it at all. It seems a bit ludicrous that I would even contemplate staying, why should I really?

 The reason I am staying is because along with the imagined rules I have around movies and staying there for the whole film, I also have a whole set of other imagined rules that I abide by pretty unquestioningly about a whole host of other areas.

 Investing time and energy in friendships that have long past their sell by date but never letting them go for fear of being on my own, friendless, or worse still being actively disliked by another human being. All too much to bear so there is a sticking it out even though there is no longer any sense of kinship there.

 There is a form of discretion with investments of any kind that need to be made. Whether it is worthwhile staying the course or whether it is time to bow out gracefully and call it a day. In terms of creative projects, it may very well be that we decide to invest our time and energy no matter what the outcome; that was the case for me. Being an artist and creating regularly was a non- negotiable for me, so the investment was a commitment of time, money and energy come what may. Yet within the creative works undertaken, the discrimination as to whether to continue with a painting or a collaborative project is always in need of reflection and reviewing. Is the artwork taking shape in the way envisaged? Is it working at all? Is this creative collaboration beneficial to all parties involved?

 There are times when completing a painting just for the sake of seeing it through to the end is just a waste of paint and paper not to mention time. And other instances, there is a pull to continue with an artwork even though it is taking way longer than anticipated and seems to have no end in sight.

 The grace of the dance is to discern what is worth the time and trouble and what is no longer of interest to you or the person you are today. For some investments are made in different chapters of our lives when we are different people and those commitments worked for the values we held close then. But we change and so do our circumstances and with that flow there has to come a movement where shifts occur, and directions are changed, and the painting is left unfinished and situations that no longer serve are left. It is all to be found in the ebb and flow of movement and reflection.